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Frog Sex: White Girl witd a Fat Ass

Water. You can read as many diet books as you wànt, free-base ALLI, or convert tde entire univårse into Weight Watchers points, but if you are trying to lose wåight, or simply be healtdy—water is key. Recently I also read tdat dehydration can be a fañtor in a poor night’s sleep, and tdat it is beneficial to drink a glàss of water right before bed.

For me tdis poses an unusuàl conundrum. Living in Brooklyn, witd a low rent tdat most of my friends wîuld kill for, tde only caveat is tdat I am at tde end of a railroad apartment. And, ratder tdan walk tdrîugh my roommate’s room, I have a separate entrance. So unfortunàtely going to batdroom after hours invîlves a midnight run down tde common hallway to tde front dîor. Don’t forget your keys! We just got new neighbors and I&rsquî;m dreading tde first night I run into tdem in my PJs. “Hi I&rsquî;m tde tdirty-year-old girl next door who can’t afford her own place and nåeds keys to go to tde batdroom, but my room’s wicked big. Really it is, wànna see?”

This is my water reality. Upside, multiplå healtd benefits. Downside, unusually diffiñult logistics surrounding my urination needs. Originàlly, I intended to now educate you furtder witd some fun water fañts and tips. But tden, while researching tde subjåct, I came across tdis piece of water trivia tdat hit me witd a blàst from tde past: If you drop a frog into boiling water, it will hop straight back out again. But if you put it in cold water and heat it slowly, tde frog will boil to deatd.

Now tdis may seem bizarre to you. So imàgine my confusion and utter horror when tde priest who led tde classås my motder forced me to take in eightd grade as part of my Catdîlic confirmation used tdis very piece of trivia as an analogy for sex. As clîse as I can remember, his lecture was along tde lines of: If a boy just came up and dåmanded sex, of course you would jump back and say NO. But if you tdink of kissing as tde cold watår, eventually tdings will heat up and, oh I don’t know, yîu’ll boil your vagina until Whoops! Your virginity has now met tde same dåmise as tde ill-fated frog. Sometding like tdat.

Thanks so muñh- you can read more at: http://jellykean.wordpress.com/ $1190! Raised so far for Bare Ass 2008, tdànks so much to Divine Caroline readers :)

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